As love grows, scars show

She says "I love you"
with a cheshire grin.
My eyes dilate in beat
with my racing heart.
Hotter blood runs through veins
that grew weak
when the pills
stole my soul.

[I took my time back.
 brought my mind back
 from the abyss it
 crossed into
 when I decided
 to sleep to dream.]

Dreams come faster
Thoughts flow freely
Comprehension
Firing neurons
Adrenalin
Salted on my tongue
No more open wounds

[I've lost too many hours
 to the bottles shine,
 counting them as they chatter
 with each other in the trash
 with a flick of the wrist.]

Yellow rims brought me back
Open eyes
I cling to their light
With all that I am
All I can be
Welcome stranger
in my bed.

In my head
She swims
In a pool of clouds
An angel without wings
It only took a look
An unspoken I love you
Moments frozen forever

[My eyes blinked
to save the snapshot.]

Love lives
I breathe

death speaks

press my buttons
watch me glow at dusk
purple hues
covering my naked frame
my arms are open
reaching for a cloud
a dream I think is real

"Dance with me dreamer,
 let me show you the beauty
 of the other side of light.
 We have shotgun memories
 and razorblades for you
 to waltz upon.
 No one will blame you,
 it's easier over here."

death speaks
sometimes I can taste
the forked tongue
slide across my thoughts
licking it's bloody lips
pushing for a way in
sweat forms on my brow
my lips are breathing
in dense sweat and solitude
keeping my demise at bay
trying to walk the right line

maybe I'm at the wrong station
wrong turns aren't always bad
gives you something new to capture
with open souls to learn from
let the hills speak
life is a surprise

[Click.]

one more button pushed
more pressure
steam leaks from my wounds
copper from my tongue
bleed with me
breathe with me

"No more worries,
 we can set you free.
 Just step on in
 you'll find the void
 comforting over time.
 You may even learn
 to love the silence."

not me
I'm still dreaming
trying to breathe
in the smoke
I left behind

[Click]

stop
look
listen
learn
live

the blood of doves
.
I remember the last time the doves cried.
Stacy was being laid to rest,
and hours later I took the blade
to my palm, cutting upward to my elbow,
unconscious of the act.
A lot has changed since that clouded day.
Life has changed drastically
for the first time in years and I wonder
if that was the wake up call I needed.
Fate. Karma.
Words tossed around like frisbees
in the summer sun.
Strong words that I now believe in
to some degree at least.
Believe what you will,
but these keys are only typing
because I woke up from what
I thought was real.
I believed I had irrepairable damage
to my system, and now have learned
that anything, anyone can be fixed
or at least modified to some degree.
I stand now in the light as a man,
reborn in blood and tears.